Posts Tagged ‘old age pensioners’

Investing For Your Retirement

June 15th, 2010

Retirement may be a long, long way off for you or it could be just immanent. matter how near or far away it is, you have really got to start saving for it right now. However, saving for retirement isn’t what it used to be with the increase in the cost of living and the instability of social security. Nowadays, you really have got to invest for your retirement future, as opposed to just putting money aside for it!

Let us start by looking at the retirement plan, which is run by your company. Not so long ago, these plans were quite sound. However, after the Enron collapse and all the problems which followed, people aren’t as secure in their company retirement plans anymore. However, if you choose not to invest in your company’s retirement plan, you do have other things you can do.

First of all, you can invest in bonds, certificates of deposit, money market accounts, mutual funds and stocks in alphabetical order. You do not have to tell anybody that the returns on these investments are to be used for retirement fund. Simply let your money increase over a period of time, and when an investment reaches its maturity date or value, reinvest it and continue to let your money grow.

You could also open an Individual Retirement Account (IRA). IRAs are quite popular since the money is not taxed until you withdraw the funds. You may also be able to deduct your IRA payments from the taxes that you pay. An IRA may be started at almost any larger bank.

A ROTH IRA is a much newer type of retirement vehicle. With a ROTH IRA, you pay taxes on the money that you are investing into your ROTH IRA account, but when you cash out, no federal taxes are due. Roth IRAs can also be started at most of the larger financial institutions.

Another popular very type of retirement account is the 401(k). 401(ks) are typically offered through employers, but you may be able to open a 401(k) on your own. You should talk to a financial planner or an accountant to help you decide whether this is right for you.

The Keogh scheme is another type of IRA which is more suited to self employed people. Self-employed small business owners may also be interested in Simplified Employee Pension Plans (SEP). This is another kind of Keogh scheme that some people usually find easier to run than a regular Keogh plan.

Whichever retirement investment you choose, just ensure you do choose one! Again, do not depend on social security, company retirement plans, or even an inheritance that may or may not happen! Take care of your financial future by investing in it today.

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Brighten Things Up With Retirement Jokes

January 5th, 2010

Most people approach retirement with a gloomy countenance. They accept retirement as if it is giving into the hands of fate and the decay of the body. So, it is very important to help the retiree realize that retirement is something to be welcomed because it is an inevitable stage in life. But how can one achieve that? Its not so difficult: just poke fun at retirement. Retirement jokes, like the ones made in speeches are popular. However, speeches tend to become emotional to the point where everyone in the room is in a state of gloom and sympathy. But one can raise the level of the mood with retirement jokes (without insulting the retiree, of course).

Examples: Further to talking about the wonderful times the speaker has shared with the retiree, he/she can add something that will lighten up the atmosphere. One could give a tombstone slab, which has the inscription To Be Filled In Later on it. If you’re a friend, you may also make a joke by calling the retiree granddad or grandfather whenever the retiree speaks to you, as in “OK, grandfather”. This can also help lighten the atmosphere. But don’t overdo it, of course.

Another gag that might help is a wig in an unusual color like pink or purple. A follow up item to that joke might be that he may need a wig in the near future. If he declines it, say: Okay, then wear a paper bag instead when you go bald. Always be prepared when a joke doesnt succeed. So keep those backup jokes ready! Believe it or not, some agencies write and sell personalized retirement speeches with witty jokes built in after understanding the personality and interests of the retiree. These companies usually add jokes about the retirees profession. If one cannot find enough retirement jokes, a visit to a bookstore can help a great deal.

There are joke books that cover a wide range of topics, one of which is retirement. A little scan here and there will help inspire the reader if he/she isnt a natural comedian. These may also be good retirement gifts as well, helping the retiree have a good laugh on one of those boring Tuesday afternoons. There are also a lot of websites available on the net that provide a lot of jokes and free retirement e-books. The e-books that are available range from the 200 Best Things Said about Retirement to Retirement Wisdom You Wont Get from your Financial Advisor.

Conclusion: You have a lot of leeway when telling jokes at a retirement party. If you know someone who is coming near to retirement, you can first send an email or two which has retirement quotations like retirement is when everyday is Saturday and retirement: goodbye tension, hello pension!. It is a nice gesture and creates the impression that you understand what the future retiree is going through.

Again, keep the retiree (future or not) relaxed as much as you can. Make him/her contemplate retirement with a smile and not with a sigh as much as you can. And when the retirement party does come, adopt the same light-hearted approach, inserting jokes here and there and doing some gags like the ones mentioned above. Not only will the retiree be less wary about retirement, he/she will focus more on the people who kept him happy on that bitter-sweet day, especially the person that gave him that strange pink wig.

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